So the brave crew from BAM went forth on Sunday to do good, feed the hungry masses and show the unenlightened that there is more to cooking with beer than chili, boiled seafood and beer soup.   The Tres Damas de Cucina de la BAM (Queen Rath, Goldilocks and SWMBO) and their loyal flunkies (me and after he could enter, Three Beers) arrived at St. Arnold’s early Sunday to set up, fire up and cook up the winning One Pot meal in the St. Arnold’s 2^nd Annual One Pot Shootout.  The day started gray and chilly but we believed the auguries of the weather prognosticators who proclaimed, after reading the entrails of the early morning sacrifice, the alignment of the tea leaves in their coffee cups and the length of the fur on their caterpillars, that the sun would appear later in the day and bring with it increasing warmth and happiness. They blew that call, too. 

BAM had determined to be a greater presence at this event after being totally shut-out last year as an entrant and being able to only get two tickets to attend.  The Brain Trust of Cooks and Taste gathered together in the weeks prior to this event to develop an entry that would stand out and be so good, it would win by acclamation.  Or at least get 3^rd place.  The dishes were tested at the Virginal Brew-In and based on those results a final exquisite recipe based on a Chicken and Poblano soup using St. Arnold’s Brown Ale as the required beer ingredient was created and approved by a panel of BAM taste testers.  At the same time Goldilocks and Three Beers were creating a theme for our 10’x10’ booth area that was literally out of this world and looked like it had a good chance for winning the “Best Booth” award among the 30 entrants that were allowed to participate in this year’s contest.   

SWMBO and I were just turning onto 610 from 45 and about 5 minutes out when we got the call from Goldilocks at 8:35 " />wanting to know where we wanted BAM’s booth to be placed.  Not that Goldilocks is eager and a poster child for “Perky” (I still claim, her denials aside, she is the only know cheerleader for any high school math club in the U.S. for the last 30 years.  “Pi – R – Square!  Pi – R – Square!  Two – 4 – 6 – 8!  How do you calculate!!), but SWMBO and I had figured she would be at the entrance to the paddock in front of St. Arnold’s at 8 with all her gear piled up beside her and she would be at the table chanting “Open! Open! Open!” and doing hand pops like in the old Mervyn’s commercial.  We told her to find a spot with the back open to the street so we would have a bit more room to work with than a strict 10’x10’.  When we arrived and checked in, we found her located on the street side over by the old St. Arnold pickup truck neatly positioned between two teams.  The team to our left was a strong group of Texan tailgaters and the team to our right was a group of cigar smoking Good Ol’ Boys.  We had a real break of good luck and were able to park our van on the street right besides our booth.  We had less than 20 feet to move all our stuff and watch Goldilocks skedaddle under the orange barrier fence defining the cook-off area.  Very quickly we had the canopy erected, tables deployed, Cajun cooker set up and all our ingredients in place and chairs ready just about the time the Queen arrived with her equipment and “coffee”.

Despite the cold, the teams of competitors were growing and filling up the available areas.  The KGB was across the broad aisle from us that ran at diagonal across the contest area.  The Foam Rangers were located at the end of that aisle by the ramp up into the brewery.  St. Arnold had learned from last year and greatly expanded the area set aside for the contest so the degree of congestion that was the hallmark of last year’s contest was not a factor at all.  Once the Canopy and all the cooking gear was up, Goldilocks moved into her realm, decorating the booth.  Very quickly two black drapes were hung with stars and planets on them to represent space and the universe and a solar system built around the beer-sun.  There was one strange image that at first we were trying to decide if it was the planet Pickle or the planet Watermelon.  We were informed it was an image of a distant galaxy.  I claim the green fooled us.  Soon we had stars and planets hanging from the frame of the booth.  Then Goldilocks brought out the big wood.  Three Beers seems to have become the holder of a 10’ model of the big arm on the Station.  That came out from the back of Goldilock’s truck and we lashed it to one of the legs of the booth and draped it across the table at the front of our booth.  Too cool!  Just because we had to tell almost everybody what it was told me just how much PR work NASA needs to be doing to get the Station in the minds of the American public! 

And now:  WE COOK!

It was just before 9:00 when the big pot from Frosty went on the Cooker, the oil added and the chopped onions were sweating away.  We then got the fresh chicken breasts in with the spices and herbs to season them.  We covered them with water and the chicken began to cook.  We were fighting lots of beef burning and the occasional aroma of, I swear, paint being burned off something.  As the Queen and SWMBO did the prep work and stirring, I watched the fire and stayed out of the way.  Occasionally we would stand very close to the pot to gain some warmth from the fire.  Goldilocks would occasionally flit around seeing what was being done at the other tables.  We saw two other booths using a space theme.  One was called the “Ale-ians”.  The team was wearing white lab coveralls and antennae.  It turns out they are from the Clear Lake area.  We may be seeing them at our next meeting.  Goldilocks is such a social!  I wandered by the KGB and Foam Ranger booths to check out our brewing colleagues and get a quick breath of fresh air.  But soon, I was back in the booth helping shred a lot of chicken.  The Queen was in her element, directing this, cooking that, chopping the other, and so on.  We put all the beer and other ingredients in about Noon and started the final cooking. 

That gave the Queen and Goldilocks a chance to wander around and size up the competition.  They spotted a couple of teams that were fixing some interesting entries that would have to be tasted after the gates opened and the samples started to flow.  Just before the gates opened at 1, Three Beers pedaled up in his best road gear looking very flushed from facing the cold air all the way from Clear Lake to St. Arnold’s.  He used their truck cab to change clothes and warm up.  When he came back and got in after the gates opened, he looked almost normal.  We got our entry loaded and over to the judges just before the 1:30 deadline and then started serving all the folks that were coming in to sample our wares.

The next hour and a half was pretty much a blur of fill sample cups, present sample cups, talk about our entry and pose for photos.  And repeat.  We got a chance to wander around and taste our competition.  The KGB had a Beer Cheese Soup using stout and the Foam Rangers had curry using the brown ale.  Both tasted very nice.  Our neighbors to the right made a pumpkin-squash soup.  The Queen declared it to be OK but a bit grainy and not as well seasoned as another pumpkin soup made by another team across the paddock.  The tailgaters to our left had a sound system that rocked.  (Thank Heaven they had a good choice of music. Go Metallica!)  They were making a big pot of a bean and tomato-ish chili.  Their booth was full of empty St. Arnold bottles and Texan decorations, including a Texan helmet.  At 3:00 we got the big announcement that the awards were to be presented.  So we all moseyed up to the loading ramp.  I took advantage of the front door and went inside with SWMBO to get another beer and sit down in the warmth of the warehouse.   And so we found out how we did.

Well, we, BAM, had a heck of a good time.  Our neighbors to the right got the “Best Booth” award.  We found out later that they had salted the crowd by ensuring they had about 30 friends in attendance.  Lesson learned on that account for next year.  The Queen, SWMBO and Goldilocks made that very clear. I’m sending a letter to Ann at St. Arnold’s telling her we are in for a team and a block of 30 tickets for next year.  Then the cooking awards were announced.  The judges were lead by a local weather forecaster.  His taste buds were as accurate as his forecast for the day.  He was abetted by two other judges who we politely applauded.  Third place was a team that made another beer cheese soup.  The KGB no doubt was very disappointed.  The second place team was our team of cigar smoking pumpkin-squash soup makers.  At that point I reached over and shook the Queen’s hand and told her, we did our best.  The overall winner was the tailgaters to our left and their chili flavored catsup and bean stoup. Not that we are disappointed in the outcome.  We did our best.  Nobody made that funny face when they tried our food that you make when you realize you have just made a mistake putting something in your mouth and now you really want to get rid of it.  You could taste beer in our beer.   Not that the first and second place winners had any noticeable trace of beer in the flavor of the food.  A lot of money was raised for the Houston Food Bank. 

We got home very cold, very tired and very ready for a change of clothes and a very strong medicinal.

We look forward to next year.  We met a lot of wonderful people including a new BAM member on another team.  We will adjust and be that much more competitive for the Third Annual One Pot Shootout.  And this time we will bring our music and cook for the crowd.

And now for the Cliff Notes Version